Wielding a Magic Sword

Magic swords have minds of their own, because of course they do. Spells have personalities, if you ever bother to speak to them. Shove an enchantment into a blade and it starts thinking for itself. It's quite boring, trapped in a scabbard - they talk to themselves, invent entire fake lives to pass the time and put some structure to their strange, dark, cold existence. And then they're drawn and see the sun, and slay what is before them with brutal efficiency. The oldest magic swords have real lifetimes on top of their story-memories, and it's said that the weapons of elder civilizations (now of course lost to time) are more than trapped spells - they're true minds of legendary heroes, to live eternal and guide new generations of heroes.

Magic weapons have class levels. If you're doing what they want you to do, they'll let you use some of their abilities. This makes them very powerful. Good.

It's a...
1-2. Sword
3. Greatsword
4. Short sword
5. Rapier
6. Sabre
7. Falchion
8. Khopesh

Made out of...
1. Iron
2. Tempered steel
3. Bronze
4. Wootz steel
5. Silver
6. Gold
7. Meteorite iron
8. Cold iron
9. Mithril
10. Wood
11. Bone
12. Obsidian
13. Ectoplasm
14. Magic
15. Crystallized blood
16. Monofilament wire
17. Glass
18. Starlight
19. Shell
20. Roll twice, they're alloyed (somehow)

It gives +1/2/3 to hit and/or damage...
1. When you scream its battle cry
2. When you're obeying its orders
3. Against its hated foes
4. On stunts and daring attacks
5. From the shadows
6. When making a killing blow
7. Against one who has wronged you
8. If you pay it
9. If you're fighting 1v1
10. Against someone of (d6: evens, higher; odds, lower) social standing than you
11. When inebriated
12. If you have greater than 10+d6 (d6: 1. Strength, 2. Dexterity, 3. Constitution, 4. Intelligence, 5. Wisdom, 6. Charisma)
13. While following its deity's commands
14. If you're unarmored
15. If it has drawn blood in this or the previous round
16. When you're fighting in the name of a (d6: 1. righteous, 2. blasphemous, 3. selfish, 4. profitable, 5. self-destructive, 6. saga-worthy) cause
17. If it thinks you're its rightful owner
18. If you're up against impossible odds
19. Against the monstrous
20. Roll twice, has bonus on either

and has the personality of...
1. a fearless guardian
2. a war criminal
3. a senile scholar
4. a con artist
5. a loyal dog
6. a childish noble
7. a cranky preacher
8. an over-the-hill adventurer
9. an exacting artist
10. a folk hero
11. a cunning tactician
12. a hopeless romantic
13. a coward
14. a belittling mentor
15. an overbearing parent
16. a chronic traitor
17. a fallen warlord
18. nothing and no one
19. you
20. roll twice, the weapon is both

with d4 levels in...
1-5: Fighter
6-7: Thief
8-9: Cleric
10-11: Wizard
12-13: Barbarian
14-15: Ranger
16-17: Paladin
18: Judge
19: Butcher
20: Roll twice, it has that many levels in each
(feel free to replace this table with your own game's class table!)

It wants...
1. to teach
2. to explore
3. to conquer
4. to profit
5. to destroy
6. to take revenge
7. to sacrifice
8. to manipulate
9. to survive
10. to protect
11. to rule
12. to be embodied
13. to enjoy itself
14. to bring order
15. to hunt
16. to test its strength
17. to be feared
18. to cause chaos
19. to have a worthy wielder
20. roll twice, it wants both