Thursday, May 30, 2019

This Post Might Eat You

It's quiet. You cleared the last five rooms; lost Ygmar the barbarian to a spiked poisoned pit trap, and Naelare the wizard's head detonated after a particularly potent fireball spell. Finally, you can rest, in the room that used to be the kobolds' ooze-growing chambers. It's covered in kobold blood and ochre slime, but at least nothing's trying to slit your belly. You rest against a wall and light your pipe.

Look closer.

Was that corpse there before? Did you miss it? It's certainly got a bunch of loot on it that you must have skipped.

Poke at it with curiosity. It flops limply. Dead, thank god.

Open its coin purse with your knife. You realize your mistake a moment too late, when the inside smells of meat and is full of writhing, snarling teeth.

It splits lengthwise, to reveal a gaping maw in a sickly facsimile of a grin. Its breath is warm and foul, its long, segmented tongue slaps at you and leaves sticky residue behind.

Then - it speaks? It speaks, in a deep cheery burbling.

"Hi! I'm Mimic! You seem nice, can I join up?"

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Strange times call for strange bedfellows. Or chestfellows, or doorfellows, or ladderfellows...

Level 1: Literally a Mimic, Swallow Whole
Level 2: Dextrous Tentacles, Improved Mimicry, +HD
Level 3: Adventurer Mimic, +HD
Level 4: Mimic Clutch

Hit Die: d6
Starting Equipment: Roll 1d6 to determine what you begin the game mimicking.
1. Treasure chest
2. Table
3. Anvil
4. Barrel
5. Fireplace
6. Pile of garbage
Skills (d3): 1. Disguise, 2. Gourmet, 3. Furniture Assembly

Literally a Mimic: Don't pick or roll a character race. Instead, you are a mimic, a roughly crustacean-esque creature that can take the form of mundane artificial items. You're limited to mimicking items the rough shape and size of a treasure chest, that you can see. When you see fit to move, you scuttle on little crab legs. You are a perfect imitation of the mimicked object, but when someone tries to use you then your true nature as a voracious beast is revealed as your toothy maw splits open wide. With your maw, you can make a d8 slashing damage bite attack (obviously this reveals you as a mimic). You also have a sticky tongue that extends up to 15'; it deals no damage but can grapple enemies and drag them into your maw with startling speed. You must eat living creatures or raw meat as rations.

Swallow Whole: You know the rule that anything that fits in your mouth doesn't take up an inventory slot? You have a *very* large mouth. Consider anything smaller than a one-handed weapon to fit in your mouth for this rule (though your mouth is much larger). You can fit one entire person inside you, and if you wish, you can deal d4 acid damage to them each round. Anything that you choose not to deal damage to remains miraculously undamaged.

Dextrous Tentacles: In addition to your tongue, you have three 10' long tentacles that are each as strong as a human hand.

Improved Mimicry: You can now mimic anything from the size of a longsword or other two-handed weapon up to the size of a carriage.

Adventurer Mimic: You can now mimic anyone you've eaten. When you do, you perfectly impersonate their mannerisms and speech patterns, but not memories or skills. You may use one of their mental attributes instead of yours. You may mimic one of their 1st-level class abilities, if they have them.

Mimic Clutch: You hatch a clutch of several hundred adorable baby mimics, around the size of a gold coin each. They act as a 3-HD swarm (or several smaller swarms), and can follow simple instructions with great enthusiasm. Their mimicry is imperfect, but they can mimic much smaller items. When they take damage, they can't heal it - instead, some number of the swarm die squirming and squealing. When they consume a creature, there's a (consumed creatures)-in-20 chance of one growing into another full-grown mimic, which may travel with you as a companion of its own volition until it finds somewhere nice to settle down, perhaps in a 10-foot-square dungeon room guarded by an orc.

Image result for mimic artImage result for mimic artImage result for mimic artImage result for mimic art
Image result for dark souls mimicImage result for dark souls mimic
all the above are by vempiric on DeviantArt

Image result for switch mimic art
by Citysaurus_ART

Image result for k6bd mimic
by Abaddon of Kill 6 Billion Demons

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

The Guardian

I've written parallel looter-shooter classes for fighter, thief, and wizard, but what of the erstwhile cleric? Well, which sci-fi (or sci-fantasy, I guess) franchise features warriors gifted with immense power by an outside force, who use that power for (ostensibly) saving the system and (usually) accumulating tremendously powerful weaponry?

You've read the title, you know. Eyes up, guardian.

Image result for destiny guardian art
When all is lost, you will still be a Guardian, and you will still be enough.

Level 1: Deathless, Traveler's Light, 2 Light Dice
Level 2: Traveler's Path, 1 Miracle, +1 Light Die
Level 3: Sword Logic, +1 Miracle, +1 Light Die
Level 4: Traveler's Gift, +1 Miracle, +1 Light Die

Hit Die: d4
Starting Equipment: Choose one of the following packages. Gun stuff is here.
Hunter: random SMG, random sniper rifle, leather gambeson and greaves, cape with icon, 3 daggers
Titan: random assault rifle, random shotgun, chain shirt, chain greaves, mark with icon, scar with history
Warlock: random pistol, random assault rifle, robes, bond with icon, notebook with esoteric scribblings on the nature of the Light
Skills (d6): 1. Dueling, 2. Gambling, 3. Lore, 4. Poetry, 5. Tactics, 6. Xenobiology

Deathless: As long as you have at least one Light Die, if you die, you are resurrected with 1 fewer LD. LD lost this way cannot be regained until you take a long rest in town.

Traveler's Light: Light is victory. You can spend a number of LD up to your Guardian level after you roll and are told if you would succeed or fail. Roll all spent LD, and add them to your roll, then see if you succeed with the new result. If you do, the effect is loudly and visibly magical, and your light Flares. If you fail, regain all but 1 spent LD (minimum 1) to your pool. Spent LD are restored after a daily rest (unless lost through Deathless).
Flares (d8)
1. Illuminate the area. You glow for ten*(dice) minutes.
2. You and everyone watching have a vision. It's intensely disorienting, but has at least 1 accurate detail, cloaked in metaphor and allegory.
3. Light congeals into a starfield surrounding you with a radius of 10*(dice)'; it starts small fires as matches.
4. Everyone watching is temporarily blinded for (dice) rounds (WIS save negates/ends).
5. Light sources for 10^(dice)' around you flare out of control.
6. You are temporarily transmuted into a form of light. You have a 3-in-6 chance of being intangible for any given physical interaction for (dice) rounds.
7. Your light cascades, giving (dice) random people around you +(sum) to the next roll they make for the same action you just took.
8. Everyone within 10*(dice)' feels the triumphant light of victory, and is invigored to take the next dangerous risk that they consider.

Traveler's Path: Choose a Domain (as Cleric). You may change Domain when you level up. You can spend Light Dice to invoke Miracles instead of following Commands. Miracles used this way cause your Light to Flare.

Sword Logic: You may spend LD to add to your damage rolls. You can choose how your light Flares this way. If you kill someone with a weapon empowered this way, regain all LD spent on the attack.

Traveler's Gift: Your Light crystallizes into a Legendary Gun. It deals damage of a type associated with your Path. By spending an LD, you can immediately succeed on a stunt with that gun.

Sunday, May 19, 2019

Even Wizard Colleges Have Sports Scholarships

Wizards and other casters are oft inseparable from the institutions that train them. But during a degree in the arcane arts, there's far more to do on campus than study musty books all day. After breaking up the hundredth underground wizard fight club, university administrators realized that their students' warlike tendencies could be turned to profitable ends, instead of halving the size of each year's graduating class. So began the noble sport of Fireball, a test of intellect, reflexes, casting prowess, and ability to rules-lawyer one's way out of a red card for "accidentally" incinerating the Dean of Students.

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by badillafloyd
Fireball is played between 2 teams of 4 players. At least one player on each team must be able to cast Fireball (or an equivalent spell that creates a ball of fire), and every team member must be able to interact with Fireballs in a way besides becoming seriously injured by them.
The game has 4 15-minute halves, separated by short rests for players to recover HP, strenuous abilities, and dunk their heads in Wyvernade.

A Fireball pitch is just long enough for long-ranged spells (like, for instance, Fireball) to make it halfway (~200', or 60 metres); a goalpost is located at each end.
Teams get one point for each Fireball spell that hits the opponent's goalpost; if it volleys off of 2 or more players besides the caster, it counts for 3 points instead.
There's a laundry list of what counts as a fireball, what counts as a player, what's allowed re. magic items, extradimensional interference, necromancy, time travel, etc. These (and other) rules are enforced by three referees, all loaded up with powerful movement, divination, and abjuration spells.

Gameplay Rules:
Player locations are demarcated by which Zone they're in. You're either on Home Side, Midfield, Away Side, or in Home/Away Goal (only one player is allowed to be seen in each goal at all times)

Home Goal | Home Field | Midfield | Away Field | Away Goal

At the beginning of the quarter, fill a bag with chits, one per player. Teams can set up their players anywhere from Midfield to their own Goal. Determine starting player by drawing from bag (without replacement). On a player's turn, they can move one zone and take one other action (casting a spell, punching someone, trash-talking...). If you move into a zone with an opponent in it, you may move to Cover them, so you can more easily Intercept their spells. If you move while Covered, whoever is Covering you can opposed DEX test to move with you and keep Covering you. If you move while undefended, anyone in the same zone can make a DEX test to catch up with you. If they do, they can Cover you.

To throw a Fireball (or another similar spell), make an INT or DEX test. Fireballs can go up to one zone away. Anyone in the same zone as the caster can try to Intercept by beating your INT/DEX test result with another INT/DEX test; if they succeed at Intercepting, initiative moves to them and they can interact with the Fireball; if multiple players try to Intercept then the highest roll wins. Anyone Covering the caster gets to Intercept as well, and goes first no matter what if they succeed.

If you can handle a Fireball with your bare hands (with a Shape/Control Fire spell, or by being magically fireproof), you can carry Fireballs while moving and hand them off to other players. Only players covering you or your target can try to Intercept the handoff.

If the Fireball makes it to its target:
Target is an undefended goal: Score points equal to the Fireball's (dice)! If the Fireball volleyed off of at least 2 Intercepting players, it counts for double points.
Target is a defended goal: Goalie makes a INT/DEX save to Intercept
Target is an undefended player: The Fireball passes to the target, who now gets to act
Target is a defended player: Everyone involved makes a INT/DEX test; whoever wins gets to Intercept
When multiple Fireballs are in play, resolve them from closest to the Away Goal to closest to the Home Goal (this is Home Field Advantage)
If there are no Fireballs in play, next player is determined by drawing a chit; once the bag is empty, the Quarter ends.

Minor injuries, out-of-bounds player or fireball, mind control, injuring a spectator, etc. cause a Yellow Card. All Fireballs are counterspelled, everyone returns to starting positions, fouled team gets to start next play.
Major injuries, time travel, killing a player, injuring a ref, necromancy outside of pitch boundaries, scrying the end result, etc. cause a Red Card. Fouling player removed from pitch (forcibly if necessary), and Yellow Card is enacted.
Escaped magical beast, arcane catastrophe, dimensional incursion, pitch collapse, ref going berzerk, etc. cause a Blue Card. Play is halted and everyone drops what they're doing to work together to contain a greater threat.

If teams are tied at the end of the fourth quarter, the game goes to Sudden Death. Players are subject to random escalating environmental hazards (traditionally random lightning bolts) until either one team is entirely out of commission, or one team scores.

The National Conclave for Arcane Athletics (NCAA) Occult Conference
(find the rest of the NCAA at the Oblidisideryptch here!
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by Gjaldir
The Miskatonic Arcane
The Miskatonic Institute of Thaumaturgy has spent its entire storied history on the bleeding non-Euclidean edge of arcanology. Their programs in magi-zoology and spell consciousness are unparalleled across the realm, and when a task force of MIT lawmages finally got animate spells recognized as people under the law of the land, they were the first to admit them as students. Of course, this meant that Fireball authorities had to decide what to do about it. After a lengthy campaign, they let them play - and the Arcane responded tremendously, winning three league championships in a row.

Star Player: Teleport! Always bubbly, seemingly omnipresent both on the field and in the media, famed for some of the league's most daring saves.

Special Techniques: Each spell only knows their spell, which makes them a team that specializes in going all-out on esoteric plans. While they have warlocks and sorcerers to provide much-needed versatility on the pitch, the core of the Arcane is always a pair of animate spells who've trained to use their abilities as far more than the sum of their parts. Swapping out players changes the character of their playstyle entirely, but any single combination has rather obvious hard counters.

Home Field: The Tower rises from midfield, a pillar of obsidian that reflects possible futures and occasionally takes action to bring them into being. Attempts to remove it for study or because it violates rules against temporal distortions in the course of play have been thwarted by nightmarish visions and mysterious ailments.

The Notre Damned Balors
Ever since Notre Damned University was defiled, it not only turned from a holy citadel of theological learning into a debauched and destructive hive of scum and villainy, it became one of the premier Fireball teams in the NCAA. Worshipping Go'al, the dark god of Sports and Victory turns out to be a winning strategy. They field a team of evil clerics and anti-paladins, many of whom are tieflings and therefore resistant to the fire and brimstone that engulfs their home field. Willing to do anything to win.

Star Player: Infernos Burnside, Archpriest of Go'al, defiler of a thousand fields and summoner of ancient demons. He knows he's the epitome of heel-ness, and plays to it. Rumors that he's actually a rather nice guy off the field are rapidly quashed by infernal portents.

Special Techniques: Literally praying to the god of sports to gift them with victory. Even the refs fear Go'al, and so they're rather lenient with penalties lest they risk Go'al's furious wrath. Usually this means that the first minor injury on each opposing player won't get penalized.

Home Field: A captured balor rules over midfield, attacking players with its firey whip and lightning blade at random. Home Field and Away Field both contain a pre-drawn summoning circle.

The Imperial Battalion
The Imperial Adventuring Academy spent decades petitioning for admission into the NCAA despite their dedicated focus on everything non-casting. Eventually, the NCAA board had had enough of their stubbornness, and caved so that they could get on with far more important initiatives like regulating the number of allowable spectator casualties before a temporary game stoppage. That tenacity is reflected in their players, with fighters, barbarians, rangers, and thieves bringing an entirely new dimension of brutal tactics to the league.

Star Player: Haley Cassiterite, a dwarven fighter with a grudge against magic-users that she inherited from her adventurer parents. Many other star mages have lost teeth to a rapidly-moving dwarf tossed at their head.

Special Techniques: They have special dispensation to issue Firecatcher Gloves and Wands of Fireball to all their non-fireproof players; a generous act of "martial inclusivity" by the NCAA. They've developed several unique fighting styles as a result.
Firecatcher Gloves: The wearer can handle, shape, and even throw fire - just don't let it touch your bare skin.
Sanctioned Wand of Fireball: To ensure that magic items don't run out of control, the NCAA doesn't let these wands have more than 3 casts of 1-die Fireballs. They recharge after the game.
Fighting Style: Frontline Blitz (unarmed). When someone casts a spell within your movement range, you can move to them and make an opposed STR vs. WIS test. If you win, you break their concentration and the spell ruptures. Apply an effect as a 1-die Counterspell.

Home Field: A well-kept, entirely featureless field. No tricks, no traps, no arcane phenomena - just a plain test of strength, will, and tactical acumen.

The Comet Mountain Dojo
Adept schools have long been powerful influences on adventuring culture across the continent, and the temple on Comet Mountain in particular has acquired a certain reputation. Its style of sport-combat is fast, cunning, and overwhelming, striking with the heat of a star and the fury of a dragon. The Dojo took home the very first NCAA title, and their pedigree is unmatched.

Star Player: Tai Li, half-orc adept and NCAA all-star for three years running. She's the proud record-holder for most Fireballs dunked on goal, fastest land speed, and most opponents' limbs broken in a single quarter.

Special Techniques: The Comet Mountain school teaches many adept stances to control a practicioner's inner fire, externalize it, and bend it to their will. Three such styles are detailed below:
Plummeting Meteor: You can jump three times as high and as far, and take no damage from falling from these jumps. When you hit the ground after falling at least 10', you can force everyone around you to DEX save vs. being knocked down and disarmed.
Punishing Demon: You can handle fire with your hands and feet. When you Intercept the Fireball, you can double it and interact with both.
Barking Hellhound: You can handle fire with your hands and feet. You can cast Fireball; this expends HP equal to (dice)*2.

Home Field: A forest of stone spikes and pillars with incredible verticality. Cover is ubiquitous, and those who master climbing and jumping across the broken terrain have a decided advantage.

The Llanport Fair Folk
While enchantment is a tightly regulated school of magic, Llanport Academy excels in both theory and practice of enchantment spells. Between forcing additional rules on the pitch (or solely upon the enemy team), animating fields, charming summons and local beasts, or even outright Suggestion spells on their opponents (or refs), the Fair Folk have a bottomless bag of dirty tricks.

Star Player: Yntirimon Abulir, a 500-year-old elf who's failed the final year exams every year for over a century. Everyone's sure that this is just so he can finally get a chance to win a championship, yet the only times the Fair Folk have taken home a title are the years in which he's been suspended, injured, or imprisoned in a pocket dimension. Still, everyone loves an underdog.

Special Techniques: Llanport has a well-regarded lawmage school, and apprentices pursuing a prelaw program often use that expertise to extend or alter the Fireball rules in the course of play. One such spell they use is Enforce. Refs tend to come down hard on abuses of such spells, but sometimes they're caught in the effects as well.
Range: 10', Target: 100' radius sphere, Duration: (sum) rounds
A pre-written law of (dice) or fewer sentences takes effect in the target area. Anyone consciously intending to violate the letter of the law must pass an INT save to do so. If they fail their save, decrease the duration of the spell by 1 round as the magic strains to control them.

Home Field: A calming aura settles across the Llanport pitch, relaxing players and fans alike. In that atmosphere, everyone's more likely to make mistakes - that the Fair Folk are primed to capitalize on.

The Scarvard Krakens
On the pitch, the biomancers of Scarvard Medical Academy are nigh-indistinguishable from their creations. Mutated to the edge of what can legally be considered a player, the Scarvard Krakens are a fearsome sight across the pitch, as their formidable mental might fuels terrifying physical force. Their penchant for biology changes even their opponents, inflicting debilitating temporary (usually) mutations or baleful polymorphs to devolve the opposition into an ineffective mess of meat.

Star Player: Adrian Sharktocrab, of the renowned Sharktocrab family of biomancers. He's also part bat, part crocodile, and part something he swears isn't chinchilla (but no one's sure what else it could be).

Special Techniques: The Krakens often run very few mages who can actually cast Fireball, instead opting to play a heavily defensive game. All their players start with at least one positive mutation, and some have pushed their biology beyond the brink, taking on negative mutations for additional benefits. They tend to prepare spells like Polymorph, as well as effects that alter the environment to make it favorable for their unique modes of locomoion.

Home Field: Midfield is a deep lake, surrounded by thick jungle on either side. The jungle usually burns down throughout the match as fireballs are redirected into trees, and the lake has mandated stone pillars for non-aquatic players to jump across.

The UPen Mechanists
The University of Penrith boasts one of the most popular artifice programs on the continent. Famed for their golemry, clockworking, and general commitment to doing ten times as much work to automate tasks as it would to do them manually, the Mechanists field a legion of constructs alongside their team. While they field wizards and sorcerers like any other team, artificers are the real heart of the Mechanists, able to repair and modify their constructs on the fly.

Special Techniques: The Mechanists' constructs aren't allowed to catch, run, or project Fireballs, but they can cover any number of other roles, from covering players, to blocking Fireballs, to acting as mounts. They can't be much larger than a dog, and take manual commands, but act as an incredibly potent force multiplier. Each player carries a few constructs on them (exchange 1 prepared spell for 1 HD of construct), from tripwire-crabs the size of a hand, to unfolding shieldbots that work as mobile cover.

Star Player: Cov Redscale, a kobold artificer with a chip on their shoulder. No one's ever seen them bring the same construct twice, and fans eagerly await their latest surprise innovations.

Home Field: The Mechanists' field would be perfectly ordinary if not for its location in the middle of the campus industrial labs. It's affected by every magical and technical accident, from choking sentient smog, to rampaging golems, to sudden arcane earthquakes. Plans to relocate the stadium have been steadily stonewalled by fan protests, who enjoy the unpredictability far more than the players do.

The R'lyeh [REDACTED]
Ten years ago, a fortress-city of black stone and green slime arose from oceanic trenches off the coast. From it came a horde of unknowable beings, ever-shifting confluences of eyes and mouths and tentacles. From their chorus of throats burbled one demand: "PLAY BALL." After much deliberation, the NCAA let them field a Fireball team for an exhibition match, and popular demand did all the rest. Now a mainstay of the Occult League, the [REDACTED] never fail to impress with truly (and in several cases literally) mind-blowing performances. Their gameplay keeps their opponents guessing, the fans entertained, and the refs in a perpetual state of bewilderment.

Special Techniques: [DATA EXPUNGED]

Star Player: Un'glepth'tolh, a mile-wide blob of flesh that suspends itself high above the stadium and projects a small humanoid mass of worms onto the pitch to play. It is the ultimate fireball-playing lifeform, knowing neither submission nor defeat. This hasn't stopped it from angrily storming up to the refs and demanding they scry the penalty again, then being ejected with extreme prejudice. [REDACTED] fans are famous for showing up in elaborate cosplay that might also be horrifying mind-controlling infectious tumors.

Home Field: A universal constant that exists in all realities simultaneously. All possible games are played on this field simultaneously, and only the most entertaining remains. Big plays and improbable comebacks are laws of reality here.

Monday, May 13, 2019


You died. Someone disagreed. At great expenditure of mundane coinage and magical power, your soul was pulled agonizing bit by agonizing bit from the ether and pressed into your body, reconstituted from whatever materials the necromancer had lying around.
You remember the Psychopomp taking you from the mortal coil. You remember a Heaven or a Hell. You know what lies beyond and you will never, ever see it; your traumatized soul forsaken by Death itself. Naught awaits you but the present - go forth and live again.
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Who wanted you back?
1. A lover, heartbroken by your untimely demise
2. A creditor, to whom your service is not yet complete
3. An employer who found your work irreplaceable
4. A rival, who wants to beat you fair-and-square for once
5. A parent, who could not bear to outlive their child
6. A necromancer, to whom you are but an experiment
7. A torturer, who still needs information from you
8. Yourself, unwilling to accept Fate
9. An admirer who never got to meet you in the flesh
10. A close friend who owes you their life

What do you remember from beyond?
1. Losing a game to the reaper
2. The faces of your loved onces, welcoming you once more
3. The judging visage of a deity you spurned
4. The beginnings of your endless torment
5. The birth of what would have been your next reincarnation
6. A glimpse of the dice game the gods play with the fates of mortals
7. Opening a book from the Akashic Records
8. A snapshot of higher-dimensional reality, from whence your soul was trapped
9. Conscription into the Blood War
10. Utter, all-consuming, beautiful oblivion

Reconstructed: Reroll no ability scores; you had no special death-defying talents - that’s why you died. You can, with the aid of a practiced necromancer and a laboratory, remove pieces of your body to implant replacements. You begin with one such replacement, randomly rolled from the table below. You have a weakness associated with the removed body part.
Blood: Must drink blood from other living, unwilling creatures as rations. 1 HD = 1 ration.
Bones: Take double slashing and piercing damage.
Brain: The sound of your name forces you to CHA save vs. fear.
Guts: Toxins, diseases, drugs, and poisons negatively affect you at their maximum duration and power. You can’t heal them except by magic.
Muscles: Water and other natural liquids deal acid damage to you (glass of water = 1 damage)
Skin: The light, it burns! Halve your HP in sunlight, and you can’t recover HP outside of complete darkness.

1. Bugs
1. Blood
Spend 2 HP to split off 1 HP swarm of bug minions, can follow simple orders but distracted by sweet things
2. Bones
Can put your swarm into another body’s boneless corpse and puppet it (can’t move without your swarm)
3. Brain
Speak to vermin, vermin recognize you as one of their own
4. Guts
Digest anything, take on 1 property of eaten substance for 10 min 1/day
5. Muscles
Can remove limbs and make them autonomous, follow an order you gave them when detached
6. Skin
Get more bugs to recover HP, 1 beehive ~ 1 HD

2. Glass
1. Blood
Mirror someone else’s ability immediately after you see them use it
2. Bones
Magically conductive, spells cast on you are spread across everything you’re touching
3. Brain
Capture spell 1/day, capturing a new one requires casting old one
4. Guts
Generate subsonic whine that transfers your emotions to everyone around you, can’t turn it off
5. Muscles
Teleport from bright light source to another in line of sight 1/day
6. Skin
Deal d4 slashing damage when you Take It in melee or are touched.

3. Ink
1. Blood
Leave trail with blood, know when someone touches it
2. Bones
Can take apart and reconfigure your bones.
3. Brain
Perfect recall, can mimic voices and mundane actions
4. Guts
Surrounded by 15’ radius ink cloud, can crudely manipulate its shape
5. Muscles
Can become a 2D silhouette on walls/flat surfaces, move as cartoon character
6. Skin
Change skin pattern and color at will

4. Meat
1. Blood
Drink meat-blood to get temporary mutation, deals 3 damage to you
2. Bones
Roll to recover HP with advantage
3. Brain
Substitute CON for WIS, STR for INT, DEX for CHA on saves
4. Guts
When you take a wound, you can tear out a chunk of your guts to patch it up. -3 HP to immediately heal.
5. Muscles
Burn 1 HP to get +1 STR, DEX, or CON on a roll
6. Skin
Malleable, clay skin (anything a 4-year-old could sculpt, artists can do more)

5. Metal
1. Blood
Always warm, when your blood is spilled it starts fires
2. Bones
Ignore CON and STR penalties from minor wounds
3. Brain
You can’t sleep and don’t need to sleep.
4. Guts
Can take out your guts as random one-handed weapon. Different weapon each time.
5. Muscles
Physical activity doesn’t tire you; you can sleep while moving
6. Skin
+2 Armor, sink in water

6. Thread
1. Blood
Can extrude your blood as spiderwebs. Strong as steel, sticky. 1 HP per 10’.
2. Bones
Can extend limbs up to 4x length
3. Brain
Can tie yourself and someone else together, share senses
4. Guts
As grappling hook + rope, made of thread and bone
5. Muscles
Can pull thread out of fingers and tie it to things to move them by willpower
6. Skin
If not wearing armor, can ablate a layer of clothes to negate a minor wound

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Ninjas Slay Free

The final member of the trio of shooter protagonists turned GLOG classes! Joining their illustrious comrades (the Doom Guy and the Vault Hunter), come the infamous murderers of clones and capitalists and mutants by the million, impeccably dressed, motivated solely by the promise of ridiculous weaponry...

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by Kevin Yeo
"Excellent armaments, Operator. Please return c̱͚̮̻̩̟͈o̴̤̙͚̺̬v̻̻ͧͣͫ̀̆̇ḛ̸̲̳̻̥̐r̗͔̲̖͔ͥ͐̓͒ͪ̏̆͘e̲ͬͩͤḑ͔͕̗ ̵͈͑͛́̾i͇̬͙̥̖ͨ̾͟n̶̬̦͔̔ͮ̉ ͈̞͌b̵͓͚͓̳̲ͮ̾͂ͯ̚l̶͈̞̗̪͈̰̊o̥̺̤̙̦͓̐̎ͨ̑͊ͤ̌́o̬̝ͣ̍̒͌̇dͥ̂ͣ͑̑ safe and sound."

Level 1: Exosuit, Void Power, 2 Void Dice
Level 2: Modding, Void Power, +1 Void Die, 2 Mod Slots
Level 3: Prime Armory, Void Power, +1 Void Die, +2 Mod Slots
Level 4: Fashion Frame, Void Power, +1 Void Die, +2 Mod Slots

Hit Die: d6
Starting Items: Random gun, melee weapon of choice, scarf or other fashionable accessory
Skills (d6)
1. Acrobatics
2. Dueling
3. Foraging
4. Philosophy
5. Stealth
6. Xenobiology

Exosuit: You wield a Warframe, a suit of powered armor that you cannot remove. It gives you incredible power and agility. You have Armor 4, but cannot wear other armor except as decoration. You can jump as high as you can move, and climb and cling to vertical surfaces.

Void Power: When you gain a Void Power, pick a spell. You can cast it at dice equal to the Warframe level you took it at. Expend Void Dice (d6s) to cast Void Powers. Whenever you kill an enemy, on a (Warframe level)-in-6, a Void Die regenerates. They also all regenerate on long rests.

Modding: You can modify your Warframe and your weapons. Gain 2 mods at random from each of the Frame and Weapon lists. You can find more on the corpses of your fallen foes. You have a number of Mod Slots; you can have that many mods equipped across all of your gear (so if you have 2 Mod Slots, you can (for example) put 1 mod on your Frame and 1 on your melee weapon, or 2 on your Frame, or 1 on a gun and one on a sword, etc.). No more than 2 mods per piece of equipment. You can mod anyone else's gear, but Frame mods only work on Warframes.

Frame Mods
1. Vitality: +1 HD
2. Steel Fiber: +2 Armor
3. Reflection: Step up HD size
4. Continuity: Roll an extra die for Duration
5. Stretch: Roll an extra die for Targets
6. Flow: +1 Void Die, but it's a d4
7. Intensify: Reroll 1s on Void Dice
8. Rush: Double run speed
9. Enemy Sense: You can sense the locations of openly hostile creatures in a 100' radius
10. Aviator: When you aren't touching the ground, enemies roll damage against you with disadvantage
11. Maglev: When you jump, you can hover until the end of your next turn (and move while hovering)
12. Heavy Impact: When you land on or adjacent to an enemy, they take d6 bludgeoning damage
13. Rage: When you take maximum damage from an attack, regenerate 1 Void Die
14. Quick Thinking: You can expend all your remaining Void Dice (if you have any) to prevent a Major Wound.
15. Natural Talent: When you kill someone, next Void Power is cast with advantage
16. Intruder: When someone discovers you hiding, you get to take a turn before they get to yell.
17. Streamline: 1-in-6 chance of Void Die regenerating on short and daily rest
18. Retribution: When you Take It, deal extra d4 damage
19. Pain Threshold: Ignore ability score decreases from Minor Wounds until after combat ends
20. Provoked: When you're at 0 HP or less, your attacks deal damage with advantage

Weapon Mods
1. Point Blank: Step up damage die size
2. Hellfire: Also deals fire damage
3. Convulsion: Also deals electric damage
4. Cryo Coil: Also deals cold damage
5. Biosteel: Also deals acid damage
6. Thunderstruck: Killed targets explode as grenade, scatter away from you
7. Point Strike: Crit range 18-20
8. Shred: Damage also inflicts -1 Armor
9. Vital Sense: Can choose Minor Wound to inflict
10. Furious: Can attack at start of round. If you do, can't attack on your turn
11. Pressure Point: Roll damage with advantage
12. Frame Perfect: Stunts deal double damage dice
13. Stand Ground: When you Take It and attack back with this weapon, deal normal damage instead of damage with disadvantage
14. Patient Hunter: If you do nothing besides attack on your turn, the attack can't be dodged
15. Hushed: Attacks silently. Impact not necessarily silent
16. Flesh-Eating: Also deals necrotic damage
17. Mind Blowing: Also deals psychic damage
18. Collision Force: Also deals bludgeoning damage
19. Augur Strike: Also deals piercing damage
20. Buzz Kill: Also deals slashing damage

Prime Armory: Permanently install a copy of a mod you own on a piece of your gear. The gear becomes shiny and gets a bunch of cool decorative flanges. This doesn't count towards your Mod Slots, and you keep the mod itself to install on other stuff. Each time you level up, you can Prime another piece of gear, including your Frame.

Fashion Frame: When you fail a physical test, you can try again with a Charisma check. You can do this a number of times a day equal to the number of fashionable, coordinated accessories you're wearing on your frame (ex. a fancy paint job, decorative armor plates, a scarf or cape...)

Thursday, May 2, 2019

Knee Deep in the GLOG

Well, I made Vault Hunter a class. Then I had this bad idea, which is the kind of bad idea that's actually a quite good idea so long as you never explicitly acknowledge that fact (or at least do so in an appropriately sarcastic way). Anyway, if the classic D&D experience is based on the core of fighting-man/thief/magic-user, and a Vault Hunter is a kind of thief, what's the fighter equivalent for shooter protagonists? The answer is self-evident.

(oh, and the magic-user equivalent is a Warframe)

Doom Guy
this should be playing during your combat scenes
Rip and tear, until it is done.

Level 1: Lock and Load, Rockets For Feet
Level 2: Rip and Tear, +HD
Level 3: Huge Guts, +HD
Level 4: Rampage, +HD

Hit Die: d6
Starting Equipment: Flak vest (counts as leather gambeson), helmet, basic pistol, chainsaw w/ 3 doses of gasoline, bad attitude (Chainsaw: as Club when unpowered, consumes dose of gasoline to count as a Greataxe that wounds as if it dealt double damage. Dose lasts 1 attack.)
Skills (d6)
1. Animal Handling
2. Brawling
3. Demonslaying
4. Gladiation
5. Soldiering
6. Violence

Lock and Load: You acquire guns from killing enemies as a Vault Hunter does (drop chance of (level+1)-in-6 from enemies, roll (Doom Guy level)d10 for traits), up to (level+1) per day, but they all disappear at the end of the day. The first one you get each day is a pistol or SMG, the next is an AR or shotgun, the third is a sniper rifle or rocket launcher, the fourth+ is a legendary gun of any type.

Rockets For Feet: You move twice as fast, dodge twice as far, and can jump up to two times (once midair) as part of any movement action. Attacks made on turns you move your full speed (without doubling back) can't be dodged, only Taken or Parried.

Rip and Tear: When you kill an enemy with a melee attack, it detonates in a shower of gore and healthpacks. Restore HP equal to the number of HD it had.

Huge Guts: Enemies have a 1-in-6 chance of dropping a Power-Up. Roll on the Power-Up table. Power-Ups last 1d4 rounds.

1. Berzerk. Can't make attacks besides unarmed melee attacks. Can make 3 of those attacks per turn, with a stepped up damage die. Must attack each round.
2. Invincibility. You get an extra STR save against all attacks. If you succeed, ignore it.
3. Quad Damage. Your attacks deal quadruple damage.
4. Haste. You go first in initiative, in addition to your normal initiative count.
5. Telefragger. Instead of moving your speed, you can teleport up your move distance to any point in line of sight. Anyone you share a destination with must DEX save or take firearm damage equal to your current HP (minimum 1).
6. Ghost Mode. You can move through walls and your attacks hurt ghosts as if the ghosts weren't ghosts.
7. Alchemixer. Your attacks deal three additional random elemental damage types.
8. Jetpack. You get a jetpack. It lets you move in any direction, and doubles your speed (stacks with Rockets for Feet). Enemies you collide with this way take d6 bludgeoning damage for every 30' you've moved this turn.

Rampage: You're too angry to die. Whenever you damage an enemy, ignore all wounds that you suffer in the next round. Your HP still decreases (and can go below -10), but with no negative repercussions. All the wounds come rushing back after your Rampage ends. Every third Rampage kill gives you a random Power-Up.

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