The Noble House

There's some kind of challenge floating around in the OSR Discord about downtime rules - so here's a class that acts almost entirely in downtime. You get to play as an entire noble lineage, and engage in domain-style play right from the beginning of the campaign! So long as you're okay with actually controlling an absolute brat of a useless noble heir adventuring far, far above their capabilities (though far, far below their means). An absolute fop, with gambling debts or too many enemies or convicted for a crime they most certainly did not (did too) commit. 

Noble House

by IvanColi

"No foie gras? No champagne? No stuffed partridge? How could you possibly fail to properly provision for such an adventure? Incompetent sycophants, the lot of you."

Level 1: Estate, Heirs, 1 Estate Action
Level 2: My Father Will Hear Of This, Retainers, +1 Estate Action
Level 3: Inheritance, +2 Estate Actions
Level 4: Royal Favor, +2 Estate Actions

Hit Die: d4
Starting Equipment: 3d20gp in pocket change, fancy jeweled weapon (deals damage with disadvantage), 2 sets of fine clothing, flask of expensive liquor
Skills (d6): 1. Dueling, 2. Etiquette, 3. Groveling, 4. Snobbery, 5. Tax Collecting, 6. Trivia

Estate: You play as an entire noble house, with access to land and money and resources beyond most adventurer's means. Any heir of the family has access to the house's resources, and is a representative of the house's name and honor. They will be rightfully treated as nobility, so long as they make it known.

As a Noble House, you have 3 ability scores instead of the traditional 6: Might, Status, and Coffers. Each is generated with a 4d6k3 roll. Whenever they take an action that leverages the resources or reputation of the House, heirs can roll Might instead of Strength/Constitution, Coffers instead of Dexterity/Intelligence, and Status instead of Wisdom/Charisma. The actions of the heirs, however, reflect upon the reputation of the house. Every time an heir fails the a challenge they make this way, the house takes -1 to that stat. A Noble House "dies" (falls into infighting and ruin) at 0 Might, 0 Status, or 0 Coffers.

During downtime, between adventures, your house can take (templates) of the following actions.
Profit: Your current heir gains an allowance of Coffers*10gp.
Host: Host a large social gathering for the well-to-do. +1 Status, then make a Status test. On a success, you can invite someone and be sure they show up.
Tax: +1 Coffers, then make a Coffers test. If you succeed, you may also gain +1 Status or +1 Might (your choice).
Conscript: Levy your peasants. +1 Might, then make a Might test. If you succeed, you may send (templates) peasant soldiers with your heir as retainers on the next adventure.
Recover: Restore 1 of your House ability scores to maximum.

As you gain additional Noble House templates, you gain access to additional Estate actions from the following list:
1. Alliance: You make some new friends in (hopefully) high places. Make a Status test. On a success, gain an ally/contact with someone of greater status than you. On a failure, gain an ally of lower status.
2. Battle!: Send your heirs, vassals, and conscripts to go fight a brush war somewhere in the name of your Lord and Country. Make a Might test. On a success, return with +1 Coffers and +1 Status, as well as an intriguing piece of loot. On a failure, -1 Might and -1 Coffers, and your next heir is Scarred in addition to their other disadvantages.
3. Educate: All current and future heirs learn 1 skill of your choice.
4. Gossip: Learn d6 rumors relevant to the party's aims or the House's fortunes.
5. Heirloom: Entrust the current heir with a magic item; the pride of the house. If the heir loses it, you lose access to this ability.
6. Hire: Make a Status test. If you succeed, send a Retainer of your choice with the Heir on your next adventure.
7. Influence: Pull some strings to get something done. Make a Status test. On a success, get someone of lower status your family knows to do you a favor. On a failure, -1 Status, and while they'll do the favor they need a bribe, or a favor in return.
8. Obtain: You can, in fact, always get what you want. Make a Coffers test. On a success, gain access to a single asset of your choice that costs less than Coffers*100gp for the next adventure. On a failure, -1 Coffers, and the price of the asset must be less than Coffers*10gp.
9. Oppress: You push your subjects to follow your commands. Make a Might test. If you succeed, rustle up a bunch of scared peasants to do your bidding. If you fail, they do your bidding, but also start planning a peasant rebellion. Take -1 Coffers
10. Schmooze: The next test you make as part of a House action is an automatic success. You owe a debt to whoever you got to help you.
11. Subvert: You take a rival down a peg. Make a Might test. On a success, an enemy of yours is denied a valuable connection or resource. On a failure, they still lose it, but they realize it's your doing and are coming at you with a vengeance.
12. Venture: Invest any number of points of Coffers in a lucrative business opportunity, then make a Coffers test. On a success, gain 1.5 times that many points of Coffers (round up). On a failure, lose those points of Coffers. Either way, gain a connection or item related to that opportunity worth (invested)*100gp.

Heirs: In the course of the game, you control a single heir as the house's representative, who's decided to go on a grand adventure. They have some sort of disadvantage from their noble upbringing. When the heir dies, another shows up. Each further heir begins with another disadvantage, until you level up, at which time the House has decided that the heir has proven themself worthy enough to clear their debts and reset the whole process.

1. Debt. d10*100gp of it. Must be paid off in full before leveling up. Can't make Coffers tests.
2. Estranged. Doesn't count as a member of the house. Can't make Status tests.
3. Scarred. Roll for a minor wound, which can't be healed.
4. Inbred. Roll for a mutation. Can't make Might tests.
5. Coddled. Roll with disadvantage for restoring HP when they don't have access to the creature comforts they're accustomed to.
6. Addicted. The heir has an expensive habit. If they don't get their fix each week, they go into withdrawal, with disadvantage on all mental tests or physical tests depending on the nature of the drug. Doses cost 50gp, and are preposterously illegal.
7. On the Run. There's a bounty on this heir's head, for crimes they probably didn't commit (4-in-6 chance of actually being guilty). Each session, roll 1d10. On a 1-in-6 (+1 for each time they drew attention to themself or used the house's reputation last session), a bounty hunter shows up looking for them.
8. Bastard. Whenever you fail a Might, Coffers, or Status test, reduce the score by 2 instead of 1.
9. Hopeless Romantic. Stalwart believer in the goodness and rightness of all things. Gain 1 Stress whenever they're exposed to the harsh reality of the outside world.
10. Enemies. Another noble house hates this heir in specific. They will take all opportunities to undercut and scheme against the heir, fabricate crimes, attempt to have them assassinated... each session, there's a 2-in-6 chance, some scheme is in motion which will come to fruition against them.
11. Diseased. This heir has an incurable disease that's slowly catching up with them. Roll for which one.
12. Cowardly. Always goes last in combat, must make a Charisma save to risk own health or life.

My Father Will Hear Of This: You may take one Estate action at any point during the course of an adventure. Information resulting from this action is conveyed to the heir by suitable courier or message-bird.

Retainers: Your heir travels with (templates) retainers. Roll for which ones you have. List adapted from the Financier by Basic Red. Retainers always bring their own supplies (including a random item and random suitable weapon), paid for by the House. To replace a dead Retainer, -1 Coffers.

1. Biographer. Keeps meticulous notes of the heir's adventures. GM mouthpiece for "actually, you've met this person before". When you encounter someone or something, you can test Status to remember meeting someone or encountering something similar, recorded in the biographer's journals. Excitable, but possibly more interested in your failures than successes.
2. Chef. Has the Cooking skill. Ensures that the party is well-fed. Party members can spend 2 rations in a rest to roll to restore HP with advantage. Can also purify food or water. Irritable, perfectionist.
3. Doctor. Has the Medicine skill. Heals an extra point of ability damage each rest and provides advantage on saves vs. disease. Can also autopsy corpses, and does so with glee.
4. Fop. Chirpy devoted hanger-on, looking to siphon off a little status by proximity. Will do dirty-ish work (lying, cheating, acquiring items of dubious legality) for you without complaint. Won't do it particularly well.
5. Guard. d8 hit die, leather armor, helmet, random 2-handed melee weapon or 1-handed melee weapon+shield, will fight for you. You can get them to take attacks in your stead, if they can put themselves in the way. No-nonsense; here for your protection.
6. Guide. Will carry an extra 8 slots of inventory for you as part of the job. Knows d4 rumors about wherever you're going. Will draw maps for you, may already have maps (2-in-6 chance). Put-upon, just here for their pay.
7. Occultist. Has the Occult skill. Knows a minor maybe-magical trick from the Occultist list. Scheming, has a personal plan that will adversely affect the heir and/or the house.
8. Priest. Has the Religion skill. Will assuage the heir's conscience, perform religious rites, create elaborate excuses as to why the adventurer's are on holy business, brings air of legitimacy to proceedings.
9. Relative. Ornery, embroiled in more drama than you can imagine. Can make Might/Status/Coffers tests, has a disadvantage as another heir. Knows a family secret that can be revealed to bring turmoil to any dealings with other nobility.
10. Scholar. Has two skills from the Scholar skill list and one associated Talent. Literate, and eloquent to boot. Sees you as a source of funds, not a person.
11. Spy. Disguised as another retainer from this list. Has stilettos, poisons, etc. 2-in-6 chance of you being on their hit list (GM rolls, doesn't tell you).
12. Valet. Keeps your affairs in order, consummately polite and proper. This means the GM will do your bookkeeping of supplies, restocking inventory, etc. for you. Use this wisely. Also will carry around 10 slots of inventory for you, and hand them to you when you wish (even in combat).

Inheritance: Who died and made you baron? A wealthy, ailing relative quite enamored with your pursuits, as it turns out. Gain 1000gp, a substantial art collection, and a treasure trove of blackmail.

Royal Favor: You've come so far that the House is favored by the highest of the high. Each Estate action you take can draw on the powers and reputation of the royal family, though if you ever fail an action with their resources they will be *extremely* disappointed in you. Perhaps to the point where you lose that hard-earned favor...

Use Every Part of the Wizard

Wizards die; it's part of the job description. Whether by dragon, or by magebane weapon, by magical doom, or by exploding-head-pox, there comes an end to every wizard's life (techniques for preserving a wizard beyond death, such as lichdom, are beyond the scope of this treatise). A dead wizard represents a magical banquet, a whalefall of potential, raw materials for a dozen other things. The cycle of magic closely mirrors that of the cycle of life, and butchers are more than willing to help out, for a fee. Butcheries that provide such grim services never advertise it, but often will offer it to sufficiently unscrupulous-seeming adventurers who pass through their doors seeking rations for their upcoming quests.

When harvesting a wizard's corpse, the skull and teeth are always salvageable, plus d6 other parts (roll with advantage if you're a Butcher). Unless you're a wizard or a butcher, you don't know any of the following. Gotta mess with/eat/implant them to figure out what they do.

Brain: A wizard's brain becomes a truly warped thing by their alien modes of thought, as the spells within make it home. Based on their school, find what their brain has become. Some examples at Words for Yellow!

Skull: Spells claw at the skull, begging to be released. They leave carvings and patterns on the inside, leaking out through the eyes and down the spinal cord. It's said that a wizard that lives for a thousand years may have the playwright Olliard's entire corpus engraved on the inside of their skull, and while no works of great import have been found written such, the mazework scrimshaw reveals (to a trained eye) the spells the wizard knew in life. Also often quite artistically pleasing, in alien ways.

Eyes: The window to the soul, even after death. Looking through the pupil's of a dead wizard's eyes will let you look through the eyes of their spirit, wherever it may be (usually not Heaven).

Teeth: When a wizard speaks to cast, or mutters curses beneath their breath, their teeth resonate with the arcane syllables. Grind them up and consume them through a mucous membrane to gain a temporary magic die on a (teeth)-in-10 chance.

Tongue: A wizard's tongue, tenderized by magical syllables and eldritch phrases, is a true delicacy. No magical powers, but dishes prepared with wizard tongue are high cuisine, and many nobles will pay a pretty penny for them.

Hair and nails: Powerful magical conductors; as when spells are cast from a wizard's brain, their hair is charged by casting and the spell jumps to the fingernails, from whence it is emitted to its target with a childish glee. This is why wizards often seem to cast from their hands. Harvested wizard-hair and wizard-nails will conduct spells that come near them, channeling magical energy through them. A rope of wizard-hair can cast spells from its tip; clothes woven with wizard-hair may become an ablative defense against targeted spells (on an X-in-6 where X is based on the amount of wizard hair inwoven), and wizard-keratin inlays in jewelry or tablets can create spell-circuits with strange and esoteric powers.

Skin: Turns crusted and leathery not through magic but through sheer lack of bathing and cleaning, but remains potent regardless of its cleanliness. It can be tanned for scrolls and spellbook bindings, and leatherworks made of wizard-skin flutter with life all their own. Ink on wizard-skin curls and shifts, animating its scenes or conveying new messages and wordplay with its text.

Bones: Like the skull, twisted and inlaid by the spells they cast in life. This is less precision inlay and more a consequence of the raw power a wizard holds roiling within their nerves, pounding against their frame with awful abandon. This power is imbued into the bones, and scrimshawed tools or jewelry of wizard-bone carry a potency beyond that of metals. Any tool of wizard bone will be slightly more powerful when enchanted, if more eccentric.

Blood: Wizard blood never coagulates on its own, roiling with the energies it handled in life, and so makes fantastic ink. Blood-ink can't be erased except by magic, and will retain its shape even if its medium degrades. It can also be jellied with enough salt into a tasty treat for various magical creatures.

Flesh: Hardened like tree rings, laden with traceries and veins of heavy metals. Cutting them apart and performing haruspicy (divination by entrail-reading) can tell you what they've done in their past, how long they've lived, perhaps even records of conversations they've held or the secrets that bent their mind. If you have no talent for haruspicy (and few do), you may catch glimpses of their history in the manycolored flame of their flesh. Just don't inhale - heavy metal poisoning is still heavy metal poisoning, wizard or no.

Fat: Can be rendered into thaumaturgical lard, which can then be burned as a scroll. Rather than recording a spell the wizard knew in life, the spell encoded in the lard will be one that encapsulated the wizard's personality - a particularly nasty wizard may render into Cloudkill, or one with a modicum of social skills (rare, for a wizard) into Charm Person.

Heart: Eat a wizard's heart to gain their powers. This is a well-established fact, and the inciting incident in many a folktale. What's less well known is that eating a wizard's heart not only gives you one template of wizard, it's that it's at the expense of all your other templates and powers. It also only works once; trying to eat another wizard's heart will just give you heartburn.

Liver: The seat of the soul, and a wizard's is particularly dense. Even past death, it tethers their soul to the mortal realm, forcing them to manifest as a ghost in times of extreme strife. A wizard liver can be used in any ritual that requires a soul, and can be asked one question by a cleric as Speak With Dead.

Lungs: The seat of the breath, which may have been weak in life but is great in death. They still speak in wheezing hisses, or scream in a bellowing banshee wail. These screams attract spells, and can be used to regain a spell recently cast or capture a spell from the outside world within the lungs. Works once per lung.

Guts: Many of the deeds attributed to angry wizard ghosts are instead the result of spells that missed the brain and found themselves trapped in the guts, still writhing and roiling past death. These bowel-ghasts are toxic and haunting, blighting the surroundings and spreading diseases of the body any mind. Unusable in products unless processed to the point where you'd be better off using anything else's guts, but the enterprising adventurer can surely find a use for some evil spirits. (note: this is also why many wizards tend towards the gaunt and bony - the spells in their guts literally parasitize them, like tapeworms that fight back with fireballs)

Genitals: Wizards and other magic-users virtually always go biologically sterile, but their genitals (regardless of which particular configuration they may have) are magically fertile. A set of wizard genitalia and the right alchemical equipment (found in virtually any alchemical laboratory) lets you breed 2 spells together as if you had that wizard feature, with a 2-in-6 chance of the resulting spell mutating.

Appendix: The appendix, that ignoblest of organs, becomes thick and dense with magic residue (read: spell excrement). Consumption of dried, powdered, or otherwise preserved appendix forces immediate astral projection for 1d6 hours, where the body lies limp and the spirit roams freely between the world and others.

Kidneys: Wizard kidneys have their work cut out for them. The amount of odd mundane things that get into a wizard's bloodstream tax their kidneys to the limit, never mind all the magical oddities that any given wizard ingests on purpose or by accident. They've grown to cope, though, and a bulging wizard kidney once implanted can mediate mutations, coaxing their negative effects into positives, and making future mutations more advantageous as well. If you have a wizard kidney, roll 1 stage up on mutation tables (Negative -> Mixed -> Positive).

Stomach: When inflated, it'll bounce several times higher than you'd expect. Fun for the whole family (except the wizard)! Also, the stomach acid is almost a universal solvent. It doesn't melt through the stomach, but it'll do in pretty much anything else. Handle with care.

Spellscars: A wizard's scars tell a story of their adventures, sometimes literally. By grafting the dead, scarred tissue onto yourself, you can gain whatever power it provided to them, at the cost of d4 max HP.

Witness the Carbarian

So I just wrote up vehicle rules, and was rightly pointed out that this is perfect for a Mad Max game. Then I heard the pun, and this followed.

[Vehicle Rules]

[Berzerker Rules]

Berzerker Conduit: Carbarian

OH, WHAT A LOVELY DAY!

The smell of nitro in your mouth. The stolen blood in your veins running as hot as detonating gasoline. Your vehicle shudders beneath you, itching, revving, screaming for you to wield it, to maim, to kill, to be Witnessed. You will oblige the machine, even if it means your death. Shiny and chrome, you will ride eternal on the Fury Road.

(Quick reminder for the Berzerker rules: You have a conduit, and gain its Passive benefit. You have Rage Dice, which are d4s. When you want to enter a rage, roll any number of your Rage Dice. THe rage lasts for (sum) minutes. Rage Dice burn out on 3s or 4s, and only return on a daily or long rest. When you roll doubles or triples on your Rage Dice, you get the related effect from your Conduit.

While raging, you get an extra attack each round, (sum) bonus temporary Hit Points, and can use the Active benefit at the cost of cutting (dice) minutes off your rage. You can't take any actions that don't contribute to you brutally murdering things while you're raging, and it automatically expires when all enemies are dead, subdued, or driven off, regardless of how much time is left. You can try to end your rage early on a 1-in-4.)

Your conduit is your vehicle. Begin with a vehicle of a randomly-determined type (1. Bike, 2. Car, 3. Van, 4. Truck, 5. Light Mech, 6. Heavy Mech); roll for all its stats with advantage and pick 2 Accessories.

Passive: One With The Machine
You pass all saves to mitigate damage from Breaches. Whenever you would restore HP from a rest, you may instead restore that many HP to your vehicle.

Active: WITNESS ME
Sacrifice 1d4 of your own HP to do one of the following:
- Restore that many of your Vehicle's HP
- Step up your Fuel die, or restore it to a d4 if you're out of gas
- Increase your Speed by that much
- Pass a Handling test to move further
- Make a Charisma check. If you succeed, Stunt (as per the human-scale combat rules).

Doubles
1. Triple your Speed. Automatically Breach.
2. You can pick which Breaches or Wounds your attacks with your vehicle deal. Halve your Speed.
3. Increase the range of squares you can move to by 1. Successful Handling tests increase it by a further 1. Anyone else in the vehicle while you're moving has to save or take d4 bludgeoning damage.
4. Take no damage from Ramming attacks. You can't reduce your Speed.

Triples
1. Whenever you deal damage to a vehicle, you can move your Speed again in any direction. You take damage with advantage from Ramming attacks.
2. Treat your Vehicle as if it had an additional Accessory of your choice. Using that Accessory costs 1 Vehicle HP.
3. Whenever you attack with your vehicle, you must make a Charisma check to perform a Stunt of your choice. Whenever any of your Stunts fail, you suffer d4 Psychic damage.
4. Roll twice on the Doubles table.

by Shane Molina

Introducing the All-New 1019 Toyota Barbarian

I'm playing in a 5e game right now broadly styled after (I am told) JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 7: Steel Ball Run. It's a race, run rather loosely (incredibly so by the standards of 5e), and the party has a battlewagon that I take great joy in using as my primary weapon. I'm not quite satisfied with just rolling endless Athletics tests, however, so I decided after seeing the excellent pen-and-paper game Racetrack that I could write up some proper system-agnostic (though GLOG-intended) Vehicle rules. These aren't as rules-light as some of the stuff I've written, instead intended for a game in which vehicles play center stage.

by 47ness

Vehicles are treated similarly to characters and have the following stats, which can be tested like player character stats in relevant circumstances. All stats are determined by the vehicle's Chassis, which gives typical ranges for the stats.

POWer: top speed, acceleration
HANdling: maneuverability, stopping distance
DURability: withstanding damage, pushing limits
CAPacity: the number of people/stuff it can hold comfortably (1 CAP ~ 10 inventory slots, or one person)
FUel: the maximum size of the Fuel die.
Hit Points: as player HP, though measured on a different scale. Damage from person-scale weapons is always minimized unless it's really strong, by the same token damage to people from a vehicle-scale attack is always maximized.

Movement
This system of vehicle movement requires a grid, and broadly follows the rules of Racetrack. Vehicles are marked at intersections of grid lines, not in individual squares, and they move between these points. On its turn, a vehicle can move once. From a standstill it can move to any adjacent point; while in motion it moves almost the same distance and direction it moved the previous turn, but its trajectory can be altered to one of the eight points surrounding the point it would move to if it maintained course and speed. These can be affected further in various ways, detailed below.

Your Speed is the number of grid squares you're traveling in height+width (if you're moving 4 up and 2 across, your speed is 6). Your Power is the upper safe limit on the vehicle's speed. You may make a Power test before moving to increase or decrease your speed by up to the amount of points you succeed by (must follow same ratio as to keep direction of movement constant, rounding down).
If you want to increase speed past Power, make a Durability test. If you fail, take d4 damage from the strain. Whenever your Speed is above your Power, you make Handling tests at disadvantage.
You can make a Handling test to increase the range of squares you can move to by 1, and an additional 1 for each 5 points you succeed by.

Every hour, or whenever you make a move that would deplete Fuel, roll the Fuel die. On a 1, it downgrades. When it's a d4 and downgrades, you're Out Of Gas and need to refuel.

When a vehicle would collide with another vehicle (whether by intentionally ramming or spinning out of control), both take damage equal to the other's hit die, +1 for every 5 POW each vehicle is traveling at (DUR save for half).
Vehicles use DUR to defend against attacks. Any damage that causes a Vehicle to fall to or below 0 HP causes a roll on the Breach table. When a vehicle is reduced to -max HP, it's Slagged; roll to see how.

Breach Table
1. Slowed; lose Speed equal to 2*damage taken, all occupants take d4 damage (DEX save halves)
2. Hull Breach; random occupant takes max damage from breaching effect (CON save halves)
3. Chassis Cracked; -4 DUR, random occupant must save or be thrown from vehicle
4. Popped Tire; -3 HAN, -3 POW
5. Fuel Tank Breached; take FU Die fire damage; everyone inside takes half that much damage (CON save negates)
6. Steering Cut; must pass a HAN save to not move at random; additional Breaches of this result give -3 HAN

Slagged Table
1. Flipped; vehicle is overturned, move vehicle 2 points in random direction and all occupants take vehicle's HD bludgeoning damage (DEX save halves)
2. Shredded; nothing of the outer chassis remains. All occupants take half damage from the attacking weapon (DEX save negates)
3. Burnout; engine block and all interior systems catch fire, all occupants take d8 fire damage (CON save negates)
4. Out of Control; vehicle will continue moving in current direction at increasing speed (making DUR tests to do so each round) until it either crashes or shreds itself from failed DUR tests.

Chassis
Bike: d4 HD, 4d6 drop lowest POW, 4d6 drop lowest HAN, 2d6 DUR, d2 CAP, d6 FU
Car: d6 HD, 3d6 POW, 3d6 HAN, 3d6 DUR, 2d4 CAP, d8 FU
Van: d8 HD, 3d6 POW, 4d6 drop highest HAN, 4d6 drop lowest DUR, 2d6 CAP, d10 FU
Truck: d10 HD, 3d6 POW, 2d6 HAN, 4d6 drop lowest DUR, 3d6 CAP, d10 FU
Tank: d12 HD, 3d6 POW, 1d6 HAN, 4d8 drop lowest DUR, 2d4 CAP, d6 FU
Train: d10 HD, 5d6 POW, 1d6 HAN, 4d6 drop lowest DUR, 6d6 CAP, needs tracks, d12 FU

Light Mech: d6 HD, 3d6/2 POW, 4d6 drop lowest HAN, 3d6 DUR, d2 CAP, d8 FU, Crawler
Heavy Mech: d10 HD, 2d6/2 POW, 3d6 HAN, 4d6 drop lowest DUR, d4 CAP, d8 FU, Crawler
Titanomech: 2d12 HD, 1d6/2 POW, 2d6 HAN, 6d6 DUR, d6 CAP, d4 FU, Crawler

Accessories
Ablative Armor: Reduce damage taken until first Breach by 1 for each attack
All Wheel Drive: Can move twice per turn, at half distance each move
Autobrain: Doesn't need a pilot, will follow simple orders (a short program of directional and acceleration instructions) input through levers in pilot's seat and continue executing them until complete or OVERRIDE switch thrown. 1-in-20 chance to fail to execute any particular order.
Crash Bags: On first Breach, prevent all damage dealt to occupants
Crawler: Legs instead of wheels. Halve POW, but increase range of altering trajectory during move by 1.
Ejection Seat: Can eject pilot in case of Breach or when manually triggered. Launches occupant 2d10*10' away from vehicle. Seat has parachute, deploys on a 5-in-6.
Extra Fuel Tank: Step up maximum FU die size
Extra Seats: Max out CAP
Jump Booster: Deplete FU 1 step to vertically jump (HAN test)*10' up. Test DUR on landing, on fail take HD damage.
Living Quarters: It's got amenities which (CAP/2) people can take proper daily rests in.
Monster Wheels: Advantage on HAN tests to cross rough terrain, ramming also lets you run over the target and make an additional ramming attack
Mounted Weapon: Vehicle-sized weapon; typically some sort of mounted crossbow or cannon, perhaps something more exotic. Deals damage as appropriate human-scale weapon, but sized for vehicles. Always deals max damage to human-scale targets. Takes up 1 CAP.
Muted Engine: Roll over your POW+current Speed to drive stealthily.
Pressurized: Fully sealed environment; unless ruptured, immune to smoke/gas/water/etc
Ramming Prow: Deal ramming damage with advantage, when ramming with prow you take damage at disadvantage
Spiky: Step up damage die for dealing damage ramming or when rammed
Tow Cable: Make an attack against another target to latch onto it, POW test to pull target along with you, only 1 latched target per cable
Trailer: Roll CAP dice and add them to total CAP, anything in those slots are open-air
Treads: Halve POW, but ignore terrain penalties
Turbocharger: Roll to deplete FU to automatically succeed on POW test (if speeding up, roll until you succeed)

Delilah's Different Dealership's Fantastic Selection of Assorted Conveyances
Melf's Magnificent Manacycle (Bike)
POW 18, HAN 13, DUR 5, CAP 1, d6 FU, HP 2
Crash Bags, Ejection Seat

General Magicks 1013 Adventurer (Car)
POW 6, HAN 14, DUR 11, CAP 5, d10 FU, HP 4
Extra Fuel Tank, All Wheel Drive

Kitbashed Battlewagon (Truck)
POW 7, HAN 4, DUR 14, CAP 12, d10 FU, HP 7
Turbocharger, Ramming Prow

Scrapper Unit 01 (Light Mech)
POW 5, HAN 11, DUR 9, CAP 2, d8 FU, HP 5
Crawler, Mounted Cannon, Tow Cable

Some Terrains
Paved Road: No effects
Ice: Handling test to alter trajectory; if you fail alter it at random
Rough Terrain: Make all Power tests with disadvantage
Heavy Precipitation: All tests that require visual acuity are at disadvantage within sight range, and impossible outside it, also may make terrain count as Ice
Thick Brush: All increases in Speed are halved, all decreases are doubled
Back Alleys: Speed-in-100 chance of hitting something important you didn't see whenever you move (examples: cabbage stand, steam valve, flock of dire pigeons, scaffolding, iron fence, pedestrian)
Traffic Jam: Top Speed capped at 3 (if you're lucky)

+1.5 Magic Weapons

+1 magic weapons are a staple, but really just not particularly interesting unless they've got something else going for them. Sometimes that's a unique history, sometimes that's the story of how you acquired them, and of course sometimes there's just another magic effect included. To roll up a +1.5 magic weapon, figure out why it's got that +1 bonus to damage and accuracy, then give it another ability that's flavorful and slightly obtuse.

by Guro

Why's it +1?
1. A clockwork mechanism runs through the weapon and aids its balance
2. An oracle told you when it would fail you, and so until that time comes you can wield it with reckless abandon, sure of its potency
3. Bathed in hearts as it was forged, it seeks hearts or the closest similar thing
4. Blessed by a high priest, covered in prayer-glyphs that mark you as a believer even if you aren't
5. Enchanted to flawlessly keep its edge, blood and viscera wicks off it like water off a duck
6. Exists across multiple realities, brings the one where you hit the hardest into truth
7. Extends an extra second forward in time, wounding targets across the fourth dimension
8. Fell from the sky, still reflects starlight even in day
9. Forged in dragonfire, still warm to the touch
10. Former training weapon, moves your hand for you to help you find an opening
11. Gems embedded in the weapon's hilt give it perfect weighting and also look really nice
12. Hexes the enemy you're attacking with it with self-doubt, making them slip up just a bit more
13. Inscribed with a mathemagical formula that calculates the best strike in any situation
14. Iron imbued with a grain of occultum in the crafting process, gives off magic radiation (don't worry about it)
15. Made of giantbone, the giant's still looking for its bones
16. Mastercrafted with superior techniques lost to all but one smith, might be able to re-engineer the smith's process
17. Soul of famous soldier was melted into the metal, their visage peeks through and offers whispered advice
18. The weapon's really confident in itself ever since it was complimented by a powerful warlord
19. Tiny hooks and grooves in the business end tear and slice at flesh in just the right way to make its wounds incredibly painful
20. Wizard tried to explain the arcanodynamics behind the enchantment, but lost you at "terrauric micro-fluctuations," as far as you can tell it's just better

d66 Magic Weapon Effects
11. Alarmed, screams when someone besides you is nearby
12. Antimagic, its effects can't be undone or influenced by magic
13. Banner, can be seen from up to a kilometer away regardless of obstacles
14. Bestial, design resembles an animal and attacks imitate that animal's perfectly
15. Branding, leaves unique mark on hit
16. Cold Iron, extraplanar creatures can't heal wounds from it
21. Collectible, there's d10 other copies of the weapon out there and when you have them all something neat happens
22. Edible, counts as rations (3 per inventory slot it takes up, each consumed part gives -1 damage until it's all gone)
23. Fashionable, always pristine, counts as formalwear
24. Fissile, splits into two half-size weapons which can be reunited into one
25. Floating, hovers in place when released
26. Friend to X, passes harmlessly through X (suggestions: animals, believers, party members, walls)
31. Glowing, emits light as torch, runs on oil as lantern
32. Gory, all wounds inflicted create ten times the mess
33. Gripping, can latch onto whatever you hit with it
34. Hollow, can hold 1 slot of stuff inside it
35. Hunting, always points towards last creature you injured with it
36. Imbued, has an inscribed spell that can be cast once as a scroll, may be reimbued with the right materials
41. Invisible, doesn't turn blood coating it invisible
42. Keening, makes loud noise as you swing it
43. Key, opens a particular lock
44. Kitbashed, roll (slots+1) times on the random equipment table to find its component parts (you can still use them!)
45. Liquid, can be liquefied or congealed back into weapon on touch
46. Living, needs food but can crawl under own power
51. Oversized, twice as large but just as maneuverable
52. Sanguine, absorbs blood from its attacks and can spray it as an action
53. Shieldbane, automatically forces shields to be sundered instead of dealing damage if possible
54. Shielding, counts as a shield as well as a weapon so long as you wield it with both hands
55. Sparring, only wounds when its wielder intends it to
56. Sundial, tells time, date, and phase of moon
61. Tome, has a novel's worth of easily legible text written on it
62. Trick, can switch into a weapon of a different type (2-handed vs 1-handed, large vs small, melee vs ranged)
63. Trophy, is respected by those who know its provenance
64. Undead, has been destroyed and reforged, undead recognize it as one of them
65. Undersized, half-size but hits just as hard
66. Unsheathed, always in your hand when you need it

Holding Out For A Hero

There's a challenge in the GLOGosphere this week - Cursed classes! You don't start Cursed, but become Cursed during play. When you're Cursed, you start gaining templates of the Curse rather than any other class. These aren't necessarily good for you.

Other Curses
Words for Yellow: Vampires, Wendigos and more! 
Archon's Court: Nanoweapon Poisoning 
Walfalcon: the Skablin
Anxious Mimic: The Oath
The Benign Brown Beast: the Restless Dreamer
Princesses and Pioneers: Mirror-Struck
Parasites and Paradoxes: The Doppelgänger 
Bugbear Slug: The Abattoir God
Nuclear Haruspex:  The Undying
Meandering Banter: Wizzard Bidness
The Whimsical Mountain: The Fading
Slugs and Silver: Ogre

The curse I've decided to tackle is that of the tragic hero. Destiny is a curse, not a blessing. When Fate chooses you as its actor, you are beholden to its whims, no longer in control of your life, choices, or goals. Welcome to the greatest ride in the world. You can't get off.

When you receive a Grand Destiny from pulling a sword from a stone/being visited by a deity/the stars being right/etc, you instantly receive the first level of Hero. You cannot level up in any other class until you have completed your Grand Destiny. Casting off your destiny in any other way would require a grand quest in and of itself, perhaps knocking on the doors of Fate, or blackmailing a god into returning your free will.

Hero

Grazia Ferlito

"... I wish that the people who sing about the deeds of heroes would think about the people who have to clear up after them." - Terry Pratchett

Hero 1: Grand Destiny
Hero 2: Heroic Charisma
Hero 3: Twist Origin
Hero 4: Climactic Confrontation

Grand Destiny: Roll on the Destiny list (or have one assigned by your GM). Death shall not come for you 'til you complete your destiny, at which point you will likely die to achieve it. When you would die before your time, you must avoid it by sacrificing someone or something and taking on a commensurate burden to avenge them. You cannot advance in Hero or enter the Climactic Confrontation until you've avenged everyone you've sacrificed this way.

Heroic Charisma: You're a master of the impassioned, heroic speech. Treat your CHA as 18 whenever trying to convince someone to play a part in your destiny.

Twist Origin: At a suitably dramatic moment, you can (once) reveal a new fact about your parentage or ancestry that gives you an ability of your choice from any template of any class. This fact has retroactively always been true (thanks Fate) and will have repercussions. If you suddenly reveal that you're descended from a dragon, expect that dragon to make an appearance. If you're the king's illegitimate child, expect royal relatives to start trying to kill you.

Climactic Confrontation: You are on an inexorable path to confront your Destiny. You have advantages on rolls you make to approach the final confrontation with your Destiny (though not during the confrontation itself). When you complete your Destiny, you either die, or lose all your levels in Hero and regain all templates that you lost to gaining templates of Hero.

Sample Destinies (roll twice, you must do the first to cause the second)
1. End your bloodline.
2. Topple an empire.
3. Supplant a great evil.
4. Become king.
5. Defeat a great evil.
6. Bring order to the realm.
7. Activate a powerful relic.
8. Save your people from catastrophe.
9. Spread new knowledge to all.
10. Set right a great injustice.
11. End an ancient conflict.
12. Avert impending catastrophe.
13. Recover a long-lost artifact.
14. Unite warring peoples.
15. Reveal a long-buried secret.
16. Accomplish a feat deemed impossible.
17. Lead your people to victory.
18. End the current era.
19. Bring about a prophecy (roll again to see what was prophesized).
20. Follow in the steps of a prior hero, but succeed where they failed (roll again to see what they tried to do).