Thursday, September 2, 2021

The Baker

I wrote a Butcher class for the GLOG, now I'm writing a Baker. Maybe someday I'll get around to writing a Candlestick Maker...

Inspiration credit goes to my lovely girlfriend, who has the magical power of bending yeast to her will. She makes the best cinnamon buns I've ever eaten; I'm so spoiled.

by oione

Baker (or, Yeast Witch)

Level 1: Doughsmith, Leaven
Level 2: Breadwitch, Doughbender
Level 3: Proofing
Level 4: Yeastmother

Hit Die: d6
Starting Equipment: 3 sacks of flour, 1 dozen eggs, sack of sugar, bags of assorted spices (including but not limited to salt, pepper, chili, cinnamon, rosemary, etc.), apron, large serrated knife OR sickle, jarred sourdough starter with a rudimentary hive mind (stats as the worlds smallest ooze).
Skills: Baking (duh).

You can twist and bake dough into mundane equipment. It goes stale and moldy over the course of a week, and breaks on natural 20 or natural 1. A sack of flour makes 1 inventory slot of equipment - a sword, a helmet, 50' of bready rope.

With an hour's work, you can turn a sack of flour into a day's delicious rations (13 loaves or buns, if you need a number). You can warm your hands to bake bread as you touch it.

You can shape and manipulate yeasted dough and baked loaves with your mind. Telekinyeastis, if you will.

You may apply magical effects to your breads from Leaven. At level 3, you may experiment with new recipes, rolling twice on the list instead of choosing one. If you find ingredients in the wild that seem edible, you can bake them into your breads to provide effects that aren't on this list - negotiate with your GM.
1. Hafling Spice-Buns. Restores templates health when eaten.
2. Elven Lembas. Eater will not tire for 24 hours of travel.
3. Dwarven Battlebread. Can be used as a bludgeoning weapon, shield, armor, etc. depending on its shape and size.
4. Faerie Sweetroll. Eater saves vs. charm.
5. Changeling Loaf-Cake. Eater saves vs. sleep.
6. Devil's Pumpernickel. Is magically warm, emits a gentle glow until it goes stale.
7. Orcish Flatbread. If eaten, provides resistance to cold, poison, and mental effects until metabolized.
8. Fungusfolk Rye. Contains ergot; causes hallucinations and religious ecstasy.
9. Earthvein Eggbread. Shelf-stable; won't go stale or moldy.
10. Dragonsbreath Garlic Bread. Makes your breath awful. Provides one use of a breath weapon; deals no damage but enemies save vs. fleeing. Even if they succeed, they cannot approach you until the scent dissipates.
11. Quickling Quickbread. No yeast involved! Immune to yeast-magic.
12. Bagels of Holding. You can nest these bagels inside their holes, allowing you to fit 13 bagels into the space of 1 bagel. It's efficient! And so dense they make effective throwing weapons (d6 damage).
13. Goblin Biscuits. They smell rancid but taste delicious. Can distract wild animals - and might even buy you their favor. Will make you a dog's absolute best friend until you run out of biscuits.

Can spontaneously proof yeasted dough, growing it up to 13 times its volume. Dough proofed this way can't be used for magical bread, and can't be proofed again. While proofing, the dough will ooze through openings and split open containers until it reaches the target volume, no matter what's in its path.

You can bestow a kind of sentience on unbaked yeasted dough, and it will obey you like a swarm of ants crossed with a large, excitable dog. This does work on dough you've magically proofed, but you can only have one blob of pet yeast at a time.

Yeast Witch Adventure Seeds
1. The townsfolk say there's a witch in the woods, living in a house made of gingerbread. Get her recipe so the village can rebuild after a recent storm - but be warned; it's said she only respects visitors who can show her true baking prowess. The rest, she bakes into her (admittedly scrumptious) pies.

2. A plague of cookie-men menaces the streets, knocking pies off of windowsills and agitating for the rights of yeast! You'll be paid handsomely if you deal with whatever's causing these disturbances (it's probably a witch lurking in the sewers, angry that her bakery got gentrified into a newfangled magic vape shop).

3. The wealthy and pompous Earl of Montrevis is demanding a brand-new delicacy for his next soiree, and will pay handsomely for whichever baker can produce the most fantastic concoction. The prize money, however, will only go to one of the entrants - are you ready for the bake-off of the century? The competition is (literally) cutthroat.

4. In the heart of the Rhuan desert, beneath the ruins of the Kingdom of Greatest Rhu, some say there once lived a baker who had the secret to perfect, delicious, nutritious, never-spoiling trail rations. This would revolutionize sea travel and adventuring forever, so a number of nobles and guild leaders are recruiting adventurers to delve into these ruins and return with the spoils. Are you brave enough to join the Club of the Sand-Witch?

5. A famine has struck the city of Trest! There is no bread for the workers, no treats for the children, and the royal family has the gall to hoard their overflowing larders and tell the starving masses to eat cake. Bakers are in high demand by both the nobles (to keep their vittles flowing) and the nascent  revolutionaries (for an army marches on its stomach).

6. Someone keeps multiplying loaves and fishes and is founding a cult of personality around good works, feeding the hungry, and trashing moneylenders' shops. What's their deal? Are they a yeast witch? Could you get in on the ground floor of this?

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